“Pollyanna got a bad rap”
During the Thanksgiving season, I feel compelled to blog about gratitude. When I was young, my mother read me the story of Pollyanna, which epitomizes the lesson of gratitude. The term “Pollyanna” is often referenced in a derogatory way to denote naïve optimism and denial (e.g., “Don’t be such a Pollyanna”), but the actual fictional character of Pollyanna was a true inspiration. Pollyanna viewed her life through the lens of gratitude. Even when things weren’t going well, she was able to play the “glad game” to identify the things for which she was grateful. As the story progressed, Pollyanna was paralyzed after a near-fatal car accident. Despite her paralysis, she was able to continue to be “glad” and appreciative instead of bitter and resentful.
Pollyanna may not have realized it, but she was demonstrating a skill that psychologists have identified as paramount to cultivating positive emotion. In fact, individuals who practice gratitude on a daily basis for one month by identifying three things for which they are grateful have improvements in positive emotion for up to three months after completing the exercise (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
I like to practice this exercise by keeping a gratitude journal that I can review when I’m feeling discouraged or pessimistic. An alternative is Caroline Miller’s handout (http://www.carolinemiller.com/info/Three_Blessings.pdf).
When I think about Pollyanna, I can’t help but to think of a modern day Pollyanna, who is an inspiration to me and others. Katherine Arnold Wolf was a student of mine when I was a professor at Samford. She was well- known for her intelligence, beauty, and sense of humor. She was in my Psychology of Women class, and I always appreciated her, because she naturally looked like a Southern Belle (or maybe a Barbie?), but she was a leader and always spoke her mind. After graduation Katherine moved to California to pursue a modeling career while her husband attended law school. Shortly after the birth of their son, she suffered a near-fatal AVM that left her paralyzed. She has made a strong recovery, which she has chronicled in her blog. My favorite part of the blog is her section entitled “too blessed to be bitter.” http://www.hope-heals.com/too-blessed-to-be-bitter/i-feel-so-good-i-knew.... Here she practices an infectious gratitude that inspires me. I wholeheartedly believe that her attitude of gratitude is a large part of her successful recovery.
So, today I’m grateful for people like Katherine and Pollyanna, who remind me of what true gratitude is and remind me that “When you look for the bad, expecting it, you will get it. When you know you will find the good—you will get that..." (Quote from "Pollyanna" by Eleanor H. Porter).
When I was a kid, I had a Holly Hobby autograph book, and I made every person in my family write something in it. (Apparently, this was just a phenomenon in the 70s, because when I mentioned my autograph book to our clients, they looked at me like I was crazy- Good thing I didn’t mention the Holly Hobby part- that really would have dated me). My grandmother signed her entry, “I wish you all the happiness in the world, but just enough sadness to know the difference.” As a ten-year-old this made no sense to me. In fact, I thought it was somewhat uncharacteristically harsh for my loving grandma to wish me sadness. As usual, my wise grandmother knew more than I realized. Based on Fredrickson’s research (2009) on positive and negative emotions, my grandmother was actually wishing me a life of psychological wellness. Frederickson and her colleagues found that individuals who have a specific balance of positive to negative emotions flourish more than individuals who have only positive emotions and individuals who have only negative emotions. It appears that individuals who do not experience the full spectrum of the emotional rainbow live somewhat of a restricted existence. Individuals with eating disorders often avoid negative emotion by numbing with starvation or soothing with bingeing. We are realizing now that not only do these behaviors not really work, but that also by trying not to experience negative emotion, we are robbing ourselves of a whole-hearted existence. So, Gram had it right- for us to experience the fullness of life, we need access to the entire palate of emotions, the bright, vibrant colors of positive feelings, and the darker, bold shades of negative feelings. Only then do we truly experience the authenticity of whole-hearted living.
